Last Wednesday, I wrote to you about the trees.

How they let go of their leaves every fall. Not because they're giving up, but because that's how they survive the winter. Less sun. Less water. So they release whatever costs too much to keep.

I haven't been able to shake that image. Because a bigger question followed me around all week:

What if the heaviest leaves we carry aren't habits, or bills, or old plans?

What if they're feelings?

I've been spending time with the work of David Hawkins, a psychiatrist and author best known for his book Power vs. Force. In it, he lays out something he called the Map of Consciousness.

Here's the thing I love about it. It gives words to something we all feel but rarely name.

Picture a tall ladder leaning against a tree. Every rung is a feeling. The bottom rungs are heavy. They're the feelings that make you want to pull the covers over your head. The top rungs are light. They're the feelings that make it seem like the sun is shining from the inside.

Hawkins gave each rung a number, from 20 at the bottom to 1,000 at the very top. You don't need to memorize them. Just know this: the higher you climb, the lighter you feel, and the more energy you have to give.

Here's the ladder, from the bottom up:

Shame (20): "Something is wrong with me."

Guilt (30): "It's all my fault." Or, "It's all your fault."

Apathy (50): "What's the point?"

Grief (75): "I lost something, and I'm sad."

Fear (100): "Something bad is going to happen."

Desire (125): "I need more, right now."

Anger (150): "That's not fair!"

Pride (175): "I'm better than them."

Courage (200): "I can try."

Neutrality (250): "I'll be okay either way."

Willingness (310): "I'm ready to learn."

Acceptance (350): "This is my life, and I'm in charge of it."

Reason (400): "Let me think this through."

Love (500): "I care, with no strings attached."

Joy (540): "My heart feels full."

Peace (600): "All is well."

Enlightenment (700 to 1,000): Words can't really describe it, and Hawkins believed very few people ever reach it.

Every human visits every one of these rungs. None of them make you a bad person. They simply tell you where you're standing right now.

Now look at Courage, sitting right at 200.

Hawkins saw this as the great turning point. When I understood why, I had to put the book down and just sit with it.

Everything below Courage drains you. Shame, guilt, fear, anger, even pride. They're the late-fall leaves the tree can no longer afford to feed. They drink your water and give nothing back.

Everything above Courage feeds you. Willingness, acceptance, reason, love. They're the roots that keep the tree alive all winter long.

And Courage itself? It isn't the absence of fear. It's the moment you say, "I don't have this all figured out, and I'm going to try anyway."

That's the whole line. One small step, taken while you're still a little scared.

I love this map. I also want to be straight with you. Hawkins arrived at his numbers through a method called muscle testing, and science hasn't proven that it works. So I don't treat the map as a measuring tape. I treat it as a mirror. It shows me where I am and where I want to go. It's not a grade on who I am.

You knew I'd bring it back to money.

After more than 20 years in finance, here's what I've come to believe: every money decision you make, you make from one of these rungs. Same paycheck. Same bank account. Completely different choices, depending on the feeling underneath.

Below the line, money sounds like this:

Shame: "I'm so bad with money, I don't even open my statements."

Fear: "I can't invest. What if I lose it all?"

Desire: "I deserve this," at 11 p.m. with a full online cart.

Anger: "The system is rigged, so why bother?"

Pride: "I don't need help," while quietly keeping up appearances you can't afford.

Above the line, money sounds like this:

Courage: "I'm opening my bank app today, even if I don't love what I see."

Willingness: "Teach me. I'm ready to learn how this works."

Acceptance: "This is where I am, and I'm the one in charge from here."

Reason: "Let me compare my estimates to my actuals and build a plan." (Yes, that's my old finance brain talking.)

Love: "I'm building this so my family, my community, and future me are taken care of."

Same woman. Same money. Different rung.

Think about that for a second. Your financial life isn't shaped only by what you earn, what you save, or what the market does. It's shaped by the level you're making your decisions from. Change the rung, and the choices change with it.

If you saw yourself in those lower rungs, please hear me: we all visit them. Me included.

Trees don't go from bare branches to full bloom overnight. Winter comes first. Then the slow, quiet work underground. Then the buds. Then the leaves.

You climb the same way. One rung at a time.

And here's the twist hiding in the map. Anger sits higher than Apathy. So when you go from "What's the point?" to "Wait, this isn't fair!", you've actually moved up. Getting fired up about your debt can be the very push that gets you off the couch and into a plan. You're not meant to live in anger. But it can be a powerful stepping stone.

The goal isn't to never feel fear again. The goal is to notice the feeling, name it, and ask one simple question: "What would the next rung up look like?"

One last thing about the trees.

Fallen leaves don't just disappear. They break down and become soil. They feed the roots that will grow next spring's leaves.

Your feelings can work the same way. The shame you release can become compassion. The fear you face can become wisdom. Nothing you've lived through is wasted. It becomes the ground you grow from.

Grab the notebook from last week and ask yourself:

You don't have to climb the whole ladder this season. You only have to reach for the next rung.

The trees are still showing us how. Let go. Rest. Grow. Repeat.

With love and abundance,
Najma Zanelli
Live Rich Retire Rich
Explore Offerings
Founder, NAZ Global Consultancy
Follow me on IG: @najma_zanelli
Email: [email protected]

P.S. Hit reply with the word COURAGE and tell me your one brave money step for this week. And if you'd love a partner for the climb, reply CLIMB and I'll send you details on working with me 1:1.